First full day

It's odd how uncomfortable I feel here in certain moments. I did not in any way anticipate this feeling. I am definitely out of my comfort zone. I think this means I'm being challenged though, so that's a good thing. I found out earlier today that Patch is not going to be here until Friday, which is the day we all leave. Apparently he really wanted to be here, and that was the original plan, but there was more pressing business elsewhere. This was quite a disappointment, but I know there is still so much to be gained from this experience. Perhaps I'll get to at least meet him on Friday before I leave, but if not, that's okay too.

When we got back to Gesundheit yesterday, we went on a hike. There is an absolutely beautiful waterfall, and the trees are like a towering wall of green surrounding you on all sides. I've never seen so much green in my entire life. It poured rain today, and the ridiculously lush vegetation suddenly made sense to me.

I feel strangely vulnerable here, and I'm not sure why. I think part of it is homesickness, which I didn't at all expect to feel, and kind of makes me feel like a wuss. It's strange because I wasn't ever homesick during college, so to feel it now is unnerving. It's amazing how prepared you can think you are until it's actually put to the test. The inverse is equally true, however. There's a part of me that fears that I won't appreciate this experience fully until the last day when we're all going home, and it's all over. But I guess worrying about that only compounds the problem. I'm just trying to remind myself to be here now, be present. Don't worry about what you are doing, or failing to do, or doing, but could be doing better. Just exist.